If you're taking longer to get over it than you have in past breakups, start by being kind to yourself. I will be the first one to admit that I take responsibility in causing the downfall of our marriage. ); it keeps you mired in breakup muck and gives the guy false hopes. Then there is Broadly writer Maria Yagoda’s self-prescribed equation to calculate the time it takes to get over an ex: x/2 + j + l - 2 + k/2 + r = y. If it’s been a really long time since your breakup, the most important thing to keep in mind when you’re thinking, “Why can’t I get over my ex” is that there is a lack of happiness somewhere in your life right now. Here are the real reasons it’s so hard to get over him: 1. I have spent many hours with deeply saddened, abandoned partners who cannot get past their losses. ... At the same time, I'm struck over and over by how helpful it can be to understand where longstanding patterns come from. This is the biggest breakup myth of all and the reason most people find it so hard to get over their first love. Learning how to get over someone you can’t have is hard, because you may have “the grass is always greener” syndrome. 1) Accept how you’re feeling. Getting over it ending is not the easiest thing to do. Why Can't I Get Over My Painful Childhood? [Find out what the variables mean here.] The top reason why people can't get over their ex is because they really don't want to! Don't beat yourself up for not moving on faster. According to the Cambridge Dictionary, people who suffer from “the grass is always greener” think other people have it better than they do. If you’re anything like me, you’re probably feeling upset, betrayed, and let down and you can’t help but question your own self-worth. So I was stupid, and had a three week affair with our neighbor. It’s difficult to accept what you’re feeling right now. Letting go of someone you love (or trying to) is frustrating, emotionally exhausting and feels, at times, fruitless. When you’re thinking “Why can’t I get over my ex,” think about this. My Wife Can’t Get Over My Affair I Was The Cause. It’s not uncommon to … You think you’ll never find anyone as amazing as him. As long as someone holds out hope for a future reconciliation they will never be over their ex. You have to "let go" in order to "move on". That's when I was finally able to get over him." If you're the one who did the dumping, don't guilt-call (a common female impulse! How to get over being cheated on: 13 steps. I have listened to their stories and to their confusion over … Trust me, I know from experience. They cling to the belief that since they never experienced anything like that before, they never will again. 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